A sweet homage

My first pet to my knowledge was a fish. As except me and my bother no one else at my home is so much interested in pet, so we bro n sis duo lost our fight for a dog. But finally with lots of arguments, hunger strikes and walkouts, we were allowed to have a pet with a strange condition. And the condition was the pet is not allowed to mooch around the whole house.

 ‘WHAT!’- This was my first response with disgust and also of my dumb brother. I tried to argue more, but it didn’t work. What is it? It means having a pet that won’t move at all? Are you guys’ nuts? How is it possible? I was too upset that’s when my witty mind finally worked. I got a pet. And that’s my fish.

 You may be thinking I could have a bird in a nest but certainly and frankly speaking I don’t like to snitch someone’s free breath and shackle them for my amusement. Especially birds and I don’t the reason for my guilt feeling. Just it is not justified. They are also living being. How would we feel if someone had tied us like that to a pole every time and always make us follow their order. Our lives would become hell and we would be begging for death. So I’m strictly against all these.  Finally, I was left with this option only.

The very day I decided to do it.  I brightly remember, It was 30^th December, 2010 night when I brought it home. I brought a baby tiny shiny gold fish with a pot. Right from then it became my roommate, the only listener and audience of demented ranting about others and all other crazy activities. I could have bought a big aquarium also. But I know myself and also know that what kind of a lazy buster I’m. So I preferred to bring a small pot of 20’’ radius containing about 20 liter water which was comfy dwelling of my baby fish.  

I remember the moment when that lanky dark man handed me it in a thick polythene bag tightly knotted at the top. It was really cute whirling inside pouting out tiny bubbles and I was head over heel. Its best features were big long layered sparkling wings on its tail and galls. They were creating fine spectrum in the water under fluorescent light. The moment I saw the fish in pet shop, I was totally fetched to it. Somewhere it felt different from others. I brought it home with care more than the personnel might have put in carrying Kohinoor diamond.

I won’t say that it became attached to me in a minute and started playing with me. It took time to accommodate itself into its new glassy world and the environment of my cluttered room. I used to behold at it for hours. Sometimes I find it sad and filled with some loneliness, the same emptiness I do find in my heart. May be on later moments we became good friends though we are totally different creatures.

There were certain things that I noticed about it. The first thing, my fish was a big foodie like me. Instead of twice in a day I used to feed it for four times a day and that also twice of it’s recommended food amount. In music it loved soft rock (especially of linkin park and Enrique) and ‘eyes on fire’ of Twilight movie. We both used to dance together, both in different form that don’t match with any other existing form in the world.

Whenever I was going out for classes, work or hanging out, before stepping out I used to kiss the it at the glass of pot.  And when I was flicking on the light after a long time leaving it in dim lights, it used to stick to glass of pot, stare at me for while and then resume. I still can feel those deep dotted eyes looking at me.

But one day it also left me and it was my entire fault. It’s 9^th February, a black day for me. The night before I fought at home over some silly matter, slept weeping and tensed. But among all these I forgot to feed it at night. When in morning I went to feed it, it was lying cold at the bottom of pot. I lost my senses for a while. Tears ran down cheeks. How cruel, careless and irresponsible I’m. I lost such a friend for my small forgetfulness. With a stone at heart, I buried its mortal body on the backyard, laid a stone on it and put some yellow marigold flowers that exactly matched its color.

I know it’s gone, no more here around me to swirl- to play- to listen me for long hours- to share my loneliness but it’s in my heart n it will remain always. You will always stay in heart, baby and I can’t ever forget you and our friendship. I wish you will forgive though I still feel guilty at my heart for such a fiendish heart. Just pray to the Almighty that your soul may rest in peace.

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Mother comes home again...

Mother comes home again. Yeah! I’m not talking about my momma but it’s about the momma of whole world. If you still scratching your head wondering who she is, then she is no one but Maa Durga, Goddess of energy and mother to all.      Dushehera is here again with lots of lights, fun and ten days of vacation. Dushehere or Durga puja (puja means worship and Durga is the Goddess who is worshipped on this occasion) is a Hindu festival mostly and widely celebrated on the eastern part of India. Now-a-days it’s widespread though and is celebrated abroad too. As my tiny town lies on the bed of Bay of Bengal, this is celebrated extravagantly through out the whole town for continuous ten days. May be this is one of a few festivals where the whole city gathers, bustled with crowd, hurly-burly winding city lanes bangs with noise. Ignoring race and religion everyone celebrates. Shop put up for discount sells. Children living away of their parents come home on vacation. It feels blissful even in the overpowering crowd.

        In this occasion mother of Gods, Goddess Durga is worshipped. In our culture she is offered as the source of the whole universal energy. It may sound quirky and odd but on the tenth day we do worship our vehicles ( yeah! Vehicles. You got it right). We do wash the vehicles, knot a small red cloth around its neck and pray to the Goddess to save us from every evil-eye.

        Except these, in this occasion many small and big idols of Maa Durga are put up on different places. (There are pictures below).  In the town like mine also has more thsn fifty statue (50!) statues consisting of small to enormous statues and all are very very pretty and eye-catching. I just love to wander around this time watching these. There are some idols so good that I couldn’t even take my eyes off them; wanted to stand like this forever letting those astounding arduous feats encroaching on my senses. Some idols describes love and care dripping radiant beauty of Maa Durga with hands seeming to nurture the world whereas some idols casts lights on the fiery furious side of  Goddess with truth and bravery flashing eyes and a courageous posture signifying good over ill. Apart from these, lots of eye-flashing decoration and many other small idols around the principal idol are set up to add glitz to it.

        The best thing of this festival is that it brings lots of brotherhood and motherly care for everyone. It feels like there is a mothers hand around always holding us from falling. Whoever comes to her, she takes them into her shade of love irrelevant of their color and cast. Even the posture of Goddess Durga of tearing a diabolic monster under her feet with trishul(her weapon) itself manifests the victory of good over ill; Celebration of good over ill. This celebration has continued for hundreds of years and will continue like this forever. 

          But the only thing that hurts me the most is the animal sacrifice. There has been a trend of misconception and blind believes of slaughtering domestic animals before Goddess to appease her. People do offer this with wish on before hand and after that the wish is fulfilled they butcher these animals. Then they cook the flesh and eat it. There used to be man slaughtering process years ago but it has vanished. But the process of sacrificing animals still continues. Is there any mother in the world who is thirst of her children’s blood? This is totally against the nature. Like we human being, those animals are also her children.  Just because they are weak and dumb, they are been killed mercilessly.  According to the reports more than 10,000 animals are killed this year at different Devi shrines despite the strict administration and enforcement of laws.

        One question always arise in my mind that if you actually wants to show your power and artifice then sacrifice a lion or an elephant or how about an anaconda or it would be better if a dinosaur could be caught. Just one of them is enough to feed the whole town. Just because they are wild and can tear the human apart, those weak domestic animals like cows, goats, hen, cocks are dragged off. Not fair!!!

        If you actually wants to sacrifice something then sacrifice your greed- adore her with love- appease her with hard work and sincerity.  That’s all she needs. Killing somebody will only make her angry. Yes, She is thirsty; but thirsty of evils. She has come here to stand the good and rumble down the evil growing everywhere.

        WAKE UP! WAKE UP! This is not the devotion. Look at those eyes. She is crying; crying to stop all these violence. Stop before her temper is aroused and she starts the series of destruction. 

P.S: My heartily and cordial thanks to my friend Rakesh who gave me such beautiful photos. Thanks a lot. :D

A new comeback

Hey guys! How are you doing? I hope everyone is doing great. Sorry for no updates for a few days.  As my exams were going on, so couldn’t give time to it. After that my exams were over, the motherboard of my computer got wracked. About fifteen days I couldn’t eat properly and just wandered from door to door of different laptop-mechanics shops like some beggar carrying my laptop. Now it is fine enough though the battery storage time has lessened.

             I only know how much I missed my blog, my online friends, google (my enlightener) and hours of browsing. But now I’m back with lots of sweet-n-salty stuffs and will soon post them.

            LOVE U ALL …<3 <3 <3

Petrol blow-ups

Today when I sprinted downstairs from my room for morning tea, the first thing my momma spoke wasn’t ‘Good morning’, instead it was ‘ Petrol rate again hiked by 2 rupees ’. After this, even the tea with extra milk and sugar tasted like broccoli soup prepared for any diabetic’s patient. The hell broke loose on my monthly saving plan that was made after cudgeling my brain for 2 long sleepless hours. I was the worst ordeal my pocket ever faced. Just a few days back it was hiked by 5 rupees per liter of petrol. Now again 2 rupees !!! This 2 bucks seems just worthless when thought individually but when it comes to pay at petrol pump, the actual value of this penny is realized.

10 years if we try to remember ( actually I can’t remember as I didn’t have anything to do with petrol that time . So I just took help of different reports from google) , we can actually realize how the price of petrol has actually thrived gradually surmounting across small hops of 2 to 5 rupees than any other commodities( yeah! Actually for a travel lover like me, petrol is counted as a commodity).

So what will happen after a leap of 10 years from now. On this ravishing topic I got knolled by some demented perception in my brain. Here is the some quirky presumptions:

1. One will have to fill up a 3-page application in order to buy petrol and have to pay in advance and then wait for it with hand in hand.

2. People will be seen in temples begging God for easy available of petrol and keep fast, conducting pujas for it.

3. Different babas (hermits) will be sprouted everywhere named ‘ Petrol Baba’ with power to detect the petrol underground with closed eyes.

4. Shahrukh Khan will be seen with his daughter endorsing petrol by filling at petrol pumps wearing those blue and orange and still then girls going vaporous over his ‘p.p.p.pe….petrol ’ dialog.

5. Bollywood films will be released based on stories about petrols named ‘petrol kam’ where Amitabh Bachan will be starred with 16 year old Brazilian lass.

6. Girlfriend will demand for petrol barrels instead of expensive gifts and jewelry.

7. Ghost stories will abound where the petrol desperate spirit will be pestering all who has petrol.

8. Vehicles on petrol will become a sign of ruling elites of society.

9. There will be theft and dowry cases lodged for petrol theft.

10. Properties in Venezuela will be the main target of movie stars and politicians. ( The petrol price is cheapest there)

P.S: As I have neither travelled neither time nor a foreteller. It is just a work of pure assumption with a tadka of sarcasm to the situation.So the work should be purely meant for fun.

Royal Blow

I know I’m bit late to rave on this topic now. In fact this incident (or accident ) never intrigued so much to spend some quality time before my gleaming computer screen. But the only thing that can’t get though the tentacles of my kaput brain is what is in this royal swearing ceremony tantalizing them so much to chit-chat for a long week.

It’s been four or five days since Kate and Williams willingly and happily walked down the aisle, but these news-people are relentlessly blowing trumpet of royal wedding and I can’t say about anyone else but in my shoes, I’m fed up.

Looking to all these hullabaloos in hot air(this is summer here in India) for this wedding with news headlines like “ most waiting marriage of the century “ , “ Tale of fairies met reality” and a lot, it feels like this the first wedding of world is going to witness. Before them, all marriages were forged? Tell me one thing, what is the big deal if a Prince is marrying ? It is what most of the people in the world do- Marriage. How many people these days are adopters of celibacy? And what is there so electrifying in the nuggets of prince Williams marrying his longtime girlfriend ? This is also done by many people (although they believed to lucky enough). But they don’t become flash of our tv for 24x7.

And most importantly, I agree that whole world were waiting for the royal wedding tapping eagerness and bated breath and bubbling with joy, but it’s over now and as per the rumor of their further planning , will might have returned to his job. Still then some freaky news channels are there who are still showing on their exclusive report all those dating-betrothal- marriage widely grinning pictures of kate and will varying from different angle that a normal viewer must have watched for hundred times ( normal viewer is, according me, who spends at least 1-3 hours before the blathering idiot box jumping from channel to channel with a minute interval ). That also spiced with silly comparisons and hilarious predictions. Let me focus light on some those sarcastic headlines of news channel that used vexing my brain till now ( thanks to osama’s encounter, the lime light is now casted on his photo with a big garland hanging on it and lines of burkha clad women who claim to be his wives sobbing, whacking with strange noises in his funeral.) So here is the lines that I could frame and would love to suggest to the news channels if they are running out of snippets.

1. Is the train of kate’s bridal dress shorter that her mother-in-law Diana’s?

2. How many layers of makeup actually Kate was wearing? Has she undergone needles for this special day? Is the Barbie look of royal bride is just a flawless feat of plastic surgery finesse?

3. According to the numerologist Mr. Phatuknath cowwala , to make their marriage more sustaining, Kate should change her name to Cat and William always use his short form Will and must use ‘I will’ whenever Kate asks him for something.

4. The ring worn to kate by will wasn’t actually his mothers ring. This is just a perfect replicate of that antique piece because kate said no as she is afraid of any impression on her pristine manicured fingers.

5. At what angle did they ( kate and will) bowed their head while kissing? According to the astrologer Mr.Phusphas Maharaj here, their marriage is going to plunge till the next three month. So to cut the sin off, they need to marry again and standing on the southern-east side of Buckingham palace and have to kiss eachother precisely for 37 seconds at an angle of 68 degree standing on one leg.

6. King Charles had kissed princess Diana on her hand showing deference to the royal heritage but why will avoided to kiss Kate’s hands? Is it because Diana said not to ruin her 203$ spent on spa for those glistering hands.

7. Was the bouquet’s design carried by Kate to the wedding copied from that of Diana?

8. What is the weight of the twinkly laces stitched to kates dress? Is that heavier than kate?

9. The doctor who did artificial wedding of Kate is claiming that she hasn’t paid his full payment and has stopped contacting him.

In real if I do try, I think I’ll be able to fetch another 100 discussions on it but actually I’m not at all interested in it. So I think the much time I gave to it is more than enough. And my best heartily wishes to this married nuptial. Hope they live happily ever after. And only request to news channels to switch to something new for heaven’s sake.

GOING UNDER COLOR NEEDLE:

With tapping my foot in the land of teen-age I got a fascination towards some eccentric things and one of them is tattooing. I can’t reckon back since when and which was the first tattoo which actually caused this to me. But as much as I can remember, perhaps it’s when Angelina Jolie in her action flick ‘Wanted’ rose up from bath tub with enormous tattoos all over her glistened body, I was shot dead at that moment and become a tattoo fetishist.

Although no one, right now in my family is aware of this (that why I’m left alive to write this till now :);) ), but they actually think all these whims are volatile and an effect of hormonal changes in body and mind. But momma and dad, I’m grown up. I’m 19….I know I’m a child for you and will stay forever no matter how many candle I burn up on my birthday cake, but I love tattoos and I’m going to have it one day. I’m sorry if I hurt you:(. OK…. I know I got distracted in middle and got into some melodramatic family scenes but I’m eagerly waiting the day I’ll turn 21 when I’ll have my first tattoo. Actually that year I’ll be graduated (hopefully if the world won’t be crumpled in 2012(I also know this is not gonna happen) ) and I want to mark that year on my body as a remembrance of the end of suffering in this education system and also the saddened end of happy days with friends.

So I’ve already started my planning for tattoo. Personally I prefer small and medium tattoos rather than whole body painted under resplendent colors and majestic figures, which will actually suit both ethnic and party wears, both eastern and western styles.

While surfing on tattoos, I just stumbled across some tattoos, catchy lines to be tattooed and also some reasons why to love tattoos.

REASONS THAT MAKE TATTOO REASONABLE:

1. Tattoos are a cunning way to express yourself and your views, thoughts to others and to set the demon-angels, dreams-desires up in the air before everyone. Tattoos are another lovely way to converse with the world through signs with your lip kept locked. It’s like a channel from soul to universe.

2. Tattoos can be remembrance also. I have seen many people in real life who are wearing tattoo to hold on some special moments or person in memory forever.

3. To show the love for symbolic art. I find something nice and intriguing when it is bit cryptic and needs a bit of attention to decode. So I love to decipher the tattoos emanating thoughtful and sensitive feelings of the person.

4. Some find it sacred and hold some religious belief behind tattooing like by wearing some specific tattoo you will stop from transmigration and will be sent to heaven next to God after your death. (Although I’ve better reasons for tattoo than all these absurd blind believes.)

5. The last but best reason that it makes you look more beautiful, blossomed, trendy, splendid, free-spirited. And everyone carrying tattoo need not be one of Hell’s angel. You can have feminine, decent tattoo according to your personality, which actually pleases the onlooker rather ravishing them with shame and disgust.

SOME LINES THAT ARE PERFECT TO BE ENCAVED ON YOUR GENTLE TISSUES :

On love:

• There is no better remedy for love than to love more.
• Love is the beauty of the soul.
• Life teaches love reveals.
• A heart that loves is always young.
• Love is the beauty of the soul.
• A loving heart is the truest wisdom.

On life:

· Let your beauty unfold.

· This is the real me.

· Life is simple, it’s just not easy.

· Why torture yourself when life will do it for you.

· Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers "grow, grow".

· If you're going through hell, keep going.

· Failure is a stepping stone to something better.

· Imagination is more important than knowledge

· Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible and achieves the impossible.

· The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.

· If you never risk anything you risk even more than fear.

· I am the captain of my soul.

· Success is the best revenge.

· What doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger.

· Let your joy scream against the pain.

· Don’t go where the math may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

· One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.

· In the end, it's not the years in your life that count--It's the life in your years

Now I’m confused what to choose and what to leave among them…:)

BEST PLACES I AM PLANNING TO TATTOO:

Ø Nape, just below the hairline.

Ø Wrist

Ø Calves

Ø Lower back

Ø Arms

Ø Just below the bikini line

Below are some pictures of tattoos that I would love to show on my skin…

How pretty it is to capture the reminiscence of someone whom you love…It must be panic but the pain is worth for such a lovely tattoo.:)

I would love have such a shared-tattoo with my love mate…hope he also understands my love and craze for him…

Just so cuteeeeee…

Weeping angel. It’s for the first time my heart was broken.I love this tattoo.

As a leo by moonsign and a believer of astrology, I’m going to have a leo tattooed . Leo tattoo shows the enormous in thoughts , enthusiasm, vigor, confidence .

Makar Sankranti

Makar Sankranti is one of many festivals that is celebrated with much grandeur and warm hospitality in our town. With loads hope, many expectations and new resolutions, we do wait for the day throughout the year. Actually this is a day when three festivals are celebrated at a time. One is maker sankranti, second is our oriya new year (new year in Odisha) and third is Lord Hanuman Jayanti.

No matter how far people stay form their family , they do visit home this day. On this day all the relatives are invited home for a get-together with everyone around from 100 year old great-grandpa to newborns. A special recipe called Makar chawal (a sweet dish made of soaked rice, milk, sugar and lots of fruits…and I must say it too delicious to resist your tongue ) is prepared and fed to each other . It is said that the sweetness in it tighten the bond of love ,care and as rice is the main food of our region, so new year is commenced with it.

Not only inside home but even outside, our people never leaves no stone unturned in showing generosity and love. These are two things that you will easily find in our country. And this festival is just an excuse to go one step ahead and holding out an olive branch for any kind of rivalry. The day is famous as pana sankranti where pana(in oriya) or sarwat (one kind sweet juice prepared from water,lemon and fruits ) is distributed among people. Small and big roadside tent are set up to give away sarwat to everyone without receiving a single penny from them. One can drink as much as they want, they won’t be denied, and rather they will be offered with more.

Besides all these there is something else that makes the day special and that is Hanuman Jayanti. It is believed that Lord Hanuman was born to mother Anjani on this day. So all hanuman temples are painted anew and adorned with big heavy garlands. There is hanuman temple in our town famous for this day especially where you will get to see quaint sight of devotion and discipline. The temple is at Ramalingeswar Tank road, where thousands of people gather on this special day to offer pray. The specialty is that despite sweltering heat of summer and dripping sweat, they come here to chant Hanuman Chalisha( a prayer) . Most of the people keep fast the whole day only consuming water or without anything and do chant hanuman chalisha of 92 lines for 108 times. To keep track of your chanting and to count the times of chant, a leaflet is provided from the temple to everyone in which inside the whole hanuman chalisha and on its backside 108 times “sri ram” is printed where one need to round up a “sri ram” every time he completes chalisha for once. And to relieve the pain of the people and for their convenience, many people come to front as volunteers without any pressure to help others. They do organize the whole function, serve sarwat to the devotees ,standing in queue or chanting hanuman chalisha and take utmost care of people when the heat becomes unbearable. Every year the number of devotees and volunteers keeps growing.

There are some picture above the post of the temple and the gathering this year.

10 NIGHTMARISH PEOPLE OF MY LIFE:

Fortunately I used to be a very sound sleeper from my childhood (for which I’m often scolded like anything during exam times) until a few persons infiltrated into my peaceful life and trampled all serenity of night. Even if I don’t meet them for months still on my bad nights they never miss the chance to give me a goose bump in sleep.

This article is dedicated to them and through this I want to tell them to spare my sleepless nights for God’s sake.

1. Marriage-Obsessed Neighborhood Aunty: I had never thought that just by staying in neighbor, anyone could get into trance of my dream. I can’t ever forget the moment when our neighborhood aunty had showed up with a box full of sweets and chagrined me and my mom by offering her son’s marriage proposal saying that her son is mad for me. I was totally paranoid and my mom was both astound and frightened with her over-friendly gesture. Obviously she had to go bitterly disappointed (how could I marry her son who wears orangey shirts with Hannah Montana on it and blowing farting attitude before girls in college) but still I dream that she is planning to ambush me and forcefully make her daughter-in-law.

2. Her Ogling Son: Her son charts to the second place of my list. Marriage!!! Love!!!! How can a girl actually like a half clown and half insane. And his fashion sense…I can’t even image in my worst day to dress up like that. A red floral shirt with matching tight embroidered jeans comes under his formal wearing and that he used to wear to flatter me with a misconception that I love ‘red’. God knows who that informer is. From a friend I came to know that he has spent thousand bucks to get the information about me. That informer must be too cunning who looted this dork for some info about me. The scariest dream about him was that we are married and are going for honeymoon to some lost island. There he is wearing a yellow suit while I’m draped in a dark violet sari with big yellow and orange sunflowers all over it and he dragging me to somewhere with a big sinister smile paired with his thin moustache. Oh Gosh! I’ll definitely prefer to join any abbey rather than to marry such a prat.

3. My college principle: I’m sorry but somehow I need to get this resentment out before that I burst out in anger. He may suspend me after reading it or put me into detention but sorry my dear princi( his nickname), it’s my blog page not your college campus and be obliged to God that I’m not mentioning your name here .I know your address and phone no. too.

I just hate him. It’s like his blunt face keeps swirling around my mind whenever we do bunk classes. The way he yells at us without any reason, has actually made him into this horrible chart. I really hate to see his bald head with a giant face and a mouth like kitchen always shouting at us in my sweet dreams. And I hate it more when you spit at us talking.

4. All my brainy math teacher: I don’t have any personal strife with my math teachers to be settled down and it’s not like I hate them personally. There are some good math teachers with whom I’m still in touch. But it’s something because of the subject. I’m never so good at math and there were a few malevolent teachers who have mortified me a lot before whole class. The thing is that I drowse in math classes and for that I’m humiliated for many times. It’s not their fault actually. Sometimes I do dream of standing up on the bench hanging head down and the whole class is laughing at me. Please try to understand that there exist some dyscalculia patients too.

5. My family doctor: It’s not like I’m tamed of those syringes and injection needles. But I hate those green and orange vitamin capsule stripes. Every time I visit him, he scribbles something nonsense on a white pad with his name and address embossed on its left corner. I feel sorry for the dispensary people who have to decipher those ruined and bruised letters every time. And then I do have to gulp all those bitter sticky capsules. I really hate those syrups and those Dracula eyes of my doc peering through thin gold framed glasses and x-raying me. Sometimes I do dream that I’m bound to my bed with coarse ropes and he pouring a big bottle of red syrup that both taste and smell yuck.

6. My ex-boyfriend: Although it’s been a year that I’ve broken up from the relation and now I’m too happy, settled and satisfied with my life still somewhere deep inside my mind and heart his memories are stashed . Usually whenever I do sleep after watching any movies about treachery in love and relationship, I dream about him. And that moment I woke up, frantic with a terror and torment. All those repulsive memories with him start spreading like a venom searing fire into my skin.

7. Insane street beggars: Actually my granny is accredited for it. I used to be a naughty, wicked and stubborn child and to make me comply her words she used to tell me about the beardy beggars carrying very dirty torn sacks over their shoulder .She used to tell that they do kidnap wayward children in that bag and carry them to a dungeon where neither T.V nor food is allowed (she knew that both T.V and food are my weaknesses). Still now the fear is dwelling somewhere in my mind and I always leave and turn back from the way if I find an insane beggar with a bag.

8. Greasy uncles: Uncles are really lucky. They can do many things that many teenage young boys starve for. Like giving a bear hug to friend’s beautiful daughter till her face is smacked on his pot belly. Unnecessarily sticking to her butt with an excuse of asking them about their well beings. In fact I also have some those kind of greasy uncles more than whom I would prefer to hug a vampire ( at least vampire uncles are charming and sleek). The worst nightmare about them was that I’m stuck in a century old bungalow with ten to fifteen greasy uncles.

9. Rumor mongrels of my class: They are another prime reason for whom I missed my several classes in the beginning of college days and had to miss sleep too. Though now I’ve learnt to both ignore and answer back in their tongue. Thanks to them, I’ve got along with lots of boys who are my good friends now with whom they used to pair me. So just a few words for them –“just keep f**king you b#$@%hes. Even my s%&t doesn’t care it. :P”

10. Whooping relatives: “atithi deva bhava”- this is what we are taught at home. In our culture, we are ought to consider guests as our God. WTF ! I can only dream my relatives as fatty monsters with big horns and a big thorny tail with whom they are tormenting us physically and mentally always asking weird question at unearthly hour. Last but not least they are something always dispensable .

GirLS! SteP OuT:

Sometimes I really wonder from where does my wicked mind get such creepy ideas??? Something that will almost chagrin parents and will make you a topic of gossip on canteen table. Hang on!!! It’s not like I losing my “V” or something like kissing a stranger in front of whole college. But what I did one need to be really crazy and I’m a self-confessing retard which is rare in the world.

Our college is about 20 kms (i.e 12 miles) from our house. We are provided with college-bus facility which really sucks most of time. This was also one day when the bus service drove us up the walls. That day we had only two classes as some teachers were absent due to their respective screwed life and we had nothing to do after break. As per iron-rules of college, to go by bus we had to wait for five long hours with nothing much to do in hand. And that particular day there was really nothing to eat in the canteen too. And our college so far from the town or almost on the outskirts of town that there isn’t even shop to buy a candy.Horrible!!!! I and my friend anita who catches from bus from the same bus were desperately ranting the administration for pissing us off in boredom. I had already finished listening to all songs on my mobile and wasn’t a bit interested in repeating those tracks again. Anita’s situation was something like that too. Doing nothing is really a difficult thing. So we decided to have a brisk walk around the campus.

It was end of winter days when we used to have shivering mornings, whooshing frigid air shuddering ears while devilishly hot afternoons with blue clear and endless sky. We jumped off the bus rubbing our hands and eyeing all around deciding exactly where to go to divert our hacked mind. We also searched for other option to reach home sooner like asking lift standing on sideways of highway. But travelling with a stranger on these lonely roads is no way less than tugging a sleeping lion’s moustache. Another option before us was to catch public bus. The moment we decided to catch some public buses to home, the sooner an overcrowded bus crossed the road whooshing dust shattered our ideas. Except the front side of the bus, from every place people were hooked like mangoes hanging down branches. And inside was so crammed that even an ant wouldn’t have enough space to barge through. It was the only bus in last hour to our fate. So we decided to walk along the same path the bus had rutted on. At least doing something will pass the time.

Sun was burning bright yellow blinding eyes. That was somehow hotter than past a few days. Ripe tamarinds were hanging from dusty green tree on side walk. Beside to the road, grey fields were widened beyond the extend human eyes can see. It was after-yielding season when all grains were yielded. Just a few vegetables like overgrown cabbages, pouted cauliflower and pot-belied egg plants were over some fields. All of sudden the evil part of my brain was lighted with some adventurous thoughts. “Why not to get home on foot. It’s just 20 kms. Not much. We are young bones in hot blood” I thought to myself estimating the hours we will take to be at home. With little hesitation I shared this stupid idea with anita too. Don’t know how but she also agreed on it. Perhaps her mind was also out of order in that time.

I was wearing my hoody woolen brown jacket which was wound around my waist and she was wearing a permeable knitted grey sweater which was still on her torso like this from the morning. I checked for water bottle and filled it thinking that it might be needed on way. There were a few candies that I had bought this morning. We started walking along with chattering about several hot topics and rumors of college and chewing candies. Without any exhaustion we walked through five to six kms until a small temple came to our sight. It was standing alone with a triangular red flag flying in twisting wind and the temple door was closed. We clicked a snap on mobile standing there with smile on face. Later,it became the memoir and proof of this dorky deed. In next half an hour we crossed a small bridge over a canal which was two kms away from the temple. By that time smile had vanished from our face and all the mirth and enthusiasm had turned into exhaustion. But our spirit was still alive. At least mine. I willed myself as there was no other way. If we did quite it there and decided to return to college, we would not be able to make it as our steps were tired. So we decided to walk till we get any bus on this way.

By next half an hour our step had lost its senses. Heels were soaring in pain. Sun seemed perching us searing with heat. All candies were finished by then and half of the water bottle was empty. It’s been continuous one and half an hour that we were walking. Our shoulders were also shagged. To our misfortune there wasn’t a single bus to our rescue. Both were standing in middle of lonely roads hopelessly and helplessly. The road never seemed so lonely and long when we used to go by bus or perhaps we never bothered to notice. Anita had already cursed me several times for accompanying me in such foolish idea and now even she was too tired to speak anything. She was about to cry by then. Her eyes were welled up with tear which made me ashamed of my stupidity. I was just praying God to send even a small vehicle to our relaxation. That’s when all of sudden a blurred box-like something shimmering in the bright day light came to sight on the road from the direction. After a while, it came to realization that it was an auto rickshaw. We waved our hand before it asking for lift. To our rescue, it stopped. There were four people inside including the driver and two goats. The only place available there was the open space behind the passenger seats for luggage. If it were anywhere in the town, I would rather wait for another hour than compromising to sit there. But our situation was far away from affording any kind of luxury. Closing our eyes we crammed ourselves in that small stinking place with our leg dangling outside.

That was enough for the day. The auto rickshaw reached us till the first crowded junction from where much other transportation was available as the passengers were heading to another direction. After half an hour of another auto rickshaw journey, we finally reached our homes. Finally being in home seemed like crossing Mount Everest. I heaved a sigh of relief. The day neither could I nor anita can ever forget when with a lots of attitude we had step out in the journey and ended being hacked off. Still now when we see the picture, we laugh till stomach starts aching. In real that crazy endeavor for such a eccentricity will always be in our memory.