Somehow I had to step out of my
room at last. At least Preeti had lost her sanity regarding me lying in that
room for any more days. She even suggested my Mom that vasstu of my room could be the reason of my downfall and the
renovation of it could change everything, as if she didn’t know the reason of
my doom. All that mattered to her at that moment to kick me out of the box.
And she finally did. I couldn’t
afford missing classes anymore owing to attendance shortage. I had to anyhow
find a way out to stand there among all, bravely face them and I did.
The same old routine hit back
into life. We boarded the same bus from the same bus-stop. There first glance
of Arnav walking to stop was unbearably heartbreaking. He came in the same
manner; his steps same slow and steady and head titled down watching the road.
I couldn’t stop myself staring at him wadding like that. After a long time,
before our ominous trip to that untraceable village, I had his last glimpse.
After that the air between took a wrong turn.
He lifted his head and his eyes
met mine and I saw a tint of glow instantly in it. Ohh! I missed those
beautiful and persuasive eyes, simply moulded with simplicity, a natural and
humiliating tendency of mine. But then again I was so shattered inside that,
that look on him crushed me more only. I threw my head in opposite direction.
There weren’t many changes to
notice in college. Just the tall eucalyptus trees in campus grew taller; the
white-washed college frontier was browner, the corridor was louder and around five
dozens of junior year students were engaged with seniors.
But the reason of staying lost
for such a long period was not so easy to explain. My entrance raised many
brows who were perhaps convinced that I was lost, kidnapped or dead. I ignored
them all and it was not that difficult. But the real difficult test was waiting
before me; Arnav and Manishaa walking together. It still carried the same
searing effect as it had when I heard it for the first time.
He nonchalantly
proceeded in my direction with that fake-queen Manishaa in his arms and I watched them laughing together on some funny secret joke. May be it’s me they were laughing at for being such a stupid.
Dozen of bullets punctured through my heart. It was hard to
decipher Arnav. For while, I was slightly convinced of his emotions for me
seeing the flash of relief and regret on his face at bus-stop. But again he was
here, sauntering towards me with Manishaa, holding hands, sharing a big smile
and attending some secrets that Manishaa blew in Arnav’s ear that made him
laugh more.
Everyone else around me was in rush, busy in their own work
while I stood as statue in corridor, watching them stepping into my direction.
While crossing me, Manishaa took a turn around Arnav, tossing their joined hands
from left to right over his head. The action diminished the thin gape between
their bodies and pushed Arnav to his left a bit. His shoulder brushed mine,
like touch of electricity spreading enormous vibration and shock through out
the whole body. Manishaa did it so deliberately that nobody would ever doubt on
her intention, but I knew her intentions very well. The triumphant smile and
sharp fiery gazes were undeniable proofs of her victory over my love.
Moisture stung through my eyes. I closed them tight, and hid
my face.
“She is a bitch!” Preeti
angrily commented.
“Still she has him.”
Preeti nudged me from sides.
“Remember to behave. At least
try to look normal, not like you are the recent victim of some harassment.”
I looked at her piteously.
“I was better in home, Preeti.
Why did you drag me here?” My voice creaked.
“No ! You have to face the
situation. You can’t always run away like this. Whatever it is, it is the
reality and you have to accept it.” She stomped her foot hard on ground. She was
angry with the situation and blamed Arnav for all my miseries.
She marched into the classroom
and I plodded behind her. We chose the seats two rows before last bench instead the first one avoiding everyone's accusing glances. Still some dared to turn their head turn their head and then again whisper to the person sitting next to them.
As we took the seat, like a
flock of crow, Manishaa came with her chic gang and sat behind us. Damn! Now I wanted to curse her as bitch
as she started her bitching.
I closed my eyes and clutched my
hands into fist pounding on legs, trying to gather some courage, not to leave
the class in middle. The knuckles went white. I felt a warm hand over it.
“It’s fine. Don’t put so much
pressure on yourself. If you don’t feel fine, then we can skip this class.”
Preeti said caressing the knuckles.
I nodded. “I can’t always keep
avoiding it, Preeti. One day I have to face them all. Then why not to make
today as that day.” I gave her a faint smile with a deep breath.
The class started. We sat there
continuously for next three hours and through out the time I could hear
giggles, hushes from the back bench. They left no stone unturned in bitching. I
heard a few faint words like Arnav, Manishaa , outing, shopping, chatting. I
didn’t know how much it was truth and how much were just colored fake. But I
didn’t lose my temper. Each minute lengthened and seemed unbearable, but then I
consoled myself.
Finally the classes ended. As soon as the bell
rang, I voluntarily jumped out of my seat and fluidly left the class before
anyone did. The corridor was sparse. Not many students were out of their class.
I scooted out towards principal’s office. I had to give some excuses for my
long absent. I had a fake medical report that said I was suffering from malaria.
I submitted at the office counter and the lady behind the counter also believed
it. She was too cautious and worried. On seeing me, her forehead wrinkled and
eyes declined in sympathy. Do I look so
bad then?
I saw pain in her eyes. May be
she had lost someone near and dear to Malaria.
Preeti came huffing and panting
when I came out the office and looked at me accusingly.
“All of sudden, where did you
run away?”
“I had
some work in principals’ office.”
“Oh. I searched you through the
whole college and you are here. Let’s go to notice board.”
“Why?”
“Just like that. I saw a crowd
covering the notice board. There must be something out. Let’s go and check.”
It was something that would
keep me busy instead of sitting idle in the class room. We walked to the notice
board. Preeti was right. There was an excited crowd around notice board as if it
held Marilyn Monroe’s famous gown flying
in air photo.
Preeti barged though the crowd
and read the notice board from to tip to end. I stood out there leaning over the
boundary railing and waited preeti to come out. She took solid fifteen minutes and
came out again elbowing some boys and cursing them.
“Wow.” Her eyes were widened
and her mouth was open in surprise. I didn’t say anything and let her get over
of her star-struck situation. It took another fine minute for her to speak the
next word.
“Guess what! Annual function.
Three days long. Two weeks more.”
From her blabbering I surmised
that a three days long annual function was to held two weeks later.
By then Preeti was standing on
her toes with exultation. May be she was trying to levitate. Uff...
“Preeti,
it’s just annual function. Not some orgy on alien planet.”
“Oh..you are such a bore. It’s
college annual function unlike the school function.
There is going to be lots
of fun. Hohhooohoo..” She started making some weird tribal sounds that scared
me a lot. I thought for a while she was possessed.
“Calm down, Preeti. You are
making a scene.”
“Okay.” She stopped her strange
acting. “But there are only two weeks left. How are we gonna do it?”
“What did you have in your
mind?” Must be something awfully crazy.
“Hmm..lots. We have lots of
shopping to do. And lots of discussion. And lots preparation too.” Her teeth
still continued to flash publicly. She couldn’t stop smiling.
“I’m not coming to it, Preeti.”
She halted there in middle.
“So you are gonna leave me
alone to all these?” She said exhibiting a childish face, blinking her eyes
what looked like one hundred times per minute.
“Why will you be alone? There
are so many students in here. You can go with them. I won’t mind.”
“Still without you I can’t do
anything. You know it. If you are not coming, I’ll cancel mine too.”
“Preeti, Please try to
understand me. I’m not in mental stability to handle all these.”
“I know..okay fine. Let’s
forget about it.”
Her face fell dull all of
sudden. The outpouring happiness disappeared to somewhere.
“Okay. Fine. I’ll come.” I
couldn’t bear to hurt her. She jumped again in joy.
“Now lets go. Get ready in the
evening. We need to go for shopping. Lots of shopping. Shopping malls, get
ready. Girls are on their way.” She blew a strand of hair off her forehead and
smiled. I smiled too and went to the class room.
As she had said, exactly after
half an hour from college I found her banging at my door.
I exhaustedly looked at her. “Can’t
we just postpone it tomorrow? I have to do a bit of study.”
“Nope. In present situation
shopping is more important.” She wore a tight black jeans and a plaid shirt
with vibrant lime-green check that clung to her skin exaggerating her body
parts. Her hair hung loose in soft curls skimming past shoulder. I was sure she
would be a eye-candy in market.
She finally dragged me out. Mom
also didn’t deny as she wanted me to go out and hang in the fresh air too.
We roamed from shop to shop for
dresses, heels, fancy jewelleries, cosmetics and perfumes and at the end
returned home with four pairs of earrings and a bottle of perfume that has a distinguishing
muskier smell.
“Great for today. Rest of the
shopping will be done tomorrow.” Preeti declared.
“Come on. Don’t be so lame and
weak. We have a lot to shop.” She cheered up.
We returned our home. Somehow
it was nice. After a long time I spent some hours so occupied that it didn’t
allow me to think of Arnav. The whole evening was so wearying that I easily
slipped to a deep slumber without having to cry too.
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