Monday, October 24, 2011

A sweet homage


My first pet to my knowledge was a fish. As except me and my bother no one else at my home is so much interested in pet, so we bro n sis duo lost our fight for a dog. But finally with lots of arguments, hunger strikes and walkouts, we were allowed to have a pet with a strange condition. And the condition was the pet is not allowed to mooch around the whole house.
 ‘WHAT!’- This was my first response with disgust and also of my dumb brother. I tried to argue more, but it didn’t work. What is it? It means having a pet that won’t move at all? Are you guys’ nuts? How is it possible? I was too upset that’s when my witty mind finally worked. I got a pet. And that’s my fish.
 You may be thinking I could have a bird in a nest but certainly and frankly speaking I don’t like to snitch someone’s free breath and shackle them for my amusement. Especially birds and I don’t the reason for my guilt feeling. Just it is not justified. They are also living being. How would we feel if someone had tied us like that to a pole every time and always make us follow their order. Our lives would become hell and we would be begging for death. So I’m strictly against all these.  Finally, I was left with this option only.
The very day I decided to do it.  I brightly remember, It was 30th December, 2010 night when I brought it home. I brought a baby tiny shiny gold fish with a pot. Right from then it became my roommate, the only listener and audience of demented ranting about others and all other crazy activities. I could have bought a big aquarium also. But I know myself and also know that what kind of a lazy buster I’m. So I preferred to bring a small pot of 20’’ radius containing about 20 liter water which was comfy dwelling of my baby fish.  
I remember the moment when that lanky dark man handed me it in a thick polythene bag tightly knotted at the top. It was really cute whirling inside pouting out tiny bubbles and I was head over heel. Its best features were big long layered sparkling wings on its tail and galls. They were creating fine spectrum in the water under fluorescent light. The moment I saw the fish in pet shop, I was totally fetched to it. Somewhere it felt different from others. I brought it home with care more than the personnel might have put in carrying Kohinoor diamond.
I won’t say that it became attached to me in a minute and started playing with me. It took time to accommodate itself into its new glassy world and the environment of my cluttered room. I used to behold at it for hours. Sometimes I find it sad and filled with some loneliness, the same emptiness I do find in my heart. May be on later moments we became good friends though we are totally different creatures.
There were certain things that I noticed about it. The first thing, my fish was a big foodie like me. Instead of twice in a day I used to feed it for four times a day and that also twice of it’s recommended food amount. In music it loved soft rock (especially of linkin park and Enrique) and ‘eyes on fire’ of Twilight movie. We both used to dance together, both in different form that don’t match with any other existing form in the world.
Whenever I was going out for classes, work or hanging out, before stepping out I used to kiss the it at the glass of pot.  And when I was flicking on the light after a long time leaving it in dim lights, it used to stick to glass of pot, stare at me for while and then resume. I still can feel those deep dotted eyes looking at me.
But one day it also left me and it was my entire fault. It’s 9th February, a black day for me. The night before I fought at home over some silly matter, slept weeping and tensed. But among all these I forgot to feed it at night. When in morning I went to feed it, it was lying cold at the bottom of pot. I lost my senses for a while. Tears ran down cheeks. How cruel, careless and irresponsible I’m. I lost such a friend for my small forgetfulness. With a stone at heart, I buried its mortal body on the backyard, laid a stone on it and put some yellow marigold flowers that exactly matched its color.
I know it’s gone, no more here around me to swirl- to play- to listen me for long hours- to share my loneliness but it’s in my heart n it will remain always. You will always stay in heart, baby and I can’t ever forget you and our friendship. I wish you will forgive though I still feel guilty at my heart for such a fiendish heart. Just pray to the Almighty that your soul may rest in peace.

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