Friday, December 20, 2013

Another first

Google Image
There is always a first time for everything in one’s life. The first day of school, first trophy, first lie, first fight with best friend, first crush sitting on the front bench, first board exam, first girls hang out, first love, first secret trip, first kiss, first drink, first heart break- Gosh!!! (Groan!) So many firsts. Like everyone, I also have my fair share weird firsts. And the new fresh experience added to that list is the first accident of my life.
People get scared and get a wreck on nerve on the name of accident. But I am different. Life has been blown out proportion for so many times in mine that, now it doesn’t matter much. Now I am just normal or elated or happy or excited or mad. These are the mood labels of mine. Even if I am sad or shocked I try to overcome as soon as possible as I know this is not going to take me anywhere.

So eight days back it happened in MSPallya. I had gone there for a call based campus drive. When it happened all of my friends attending the drive were either giving exam or returning to hostel. When I arrived to my room after a tiny but nonetheless painful ten stitches on my forehead, people climbed over me because they were utterly shocked and all I could was grin at their expression. I guess that was an adrenaline effect or I don’t know what else, but I didn’t feel anything hurting. Though the next seven days were hell. I would roam around a big bulge of ugly bandage around everywhere and had to explain everyone who bumped to me. Mom sent bag after bags of fruits and all other food with anyone known to her came to Bangalore. No amount of assurance worked on her. Then I had to the interview from that company as I had cleared the written test. I guess eventually they will reject me (the result is still on hold! Please pray for me! Please!) considering that I am blind to be in such a situation where a 8ft’ window pane broke on me. Well! Not my fault and I wasn’t doing any stunt there. It was just cheap material they used in the college building (I really wish to reveal the college name, but I don’t want to embarrass them on the public platform) .

But somehow it happened. I guess a very very bad day still it’s an experience that I want to remember. It’s stupid to write and make everybody read it but I wanted to share it all. Not because I will get any sympathy out of it, (please, clearly no such histrionic intention! ), because it’s one of my firsts . 12th December 2013, around 3o’clock it crashed me like a wave. I had lots of trouble and some horrible scars, but I want to remember it someday over coffee and cherish the memories of pain.(sadistic!)

So the boring post it over now. And if I have written stupidly then forgive me. It’s all because of this accident. My mind is like a black hole right now. I will surely try my best to come up with a better piece next time. Till then, take care, keep laughing. 

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Surprise Parcel

By the time I returned home, it was late. I had five back to back classes as it was a Sunday. Children got more time in weekends to learn music and there were some special weekend classes too. It was good and enjoyed some classes but it wasn’t any less tiring. My hands hurt and eyes blurred and all I wished is a very good night sleep. As I parked my car in the basement, the watchman of our apartment came running towards me. There was a big box in his hand.

“Madamji.” He called me as usual.

“Yes, Sambhu.”

“Courierwala  left a parcel for you.” He said flashing his tobacco stained teeth.

"For me?" I asked as he handed it to me. He nodded.

Parcel? I was surprised to see a parcel with my name to it. After my parents death I had no one who could have possibly send me a parcel. Forget about parcel, even a diwali wish from my relative was rare. All I had in my life were my students.

I took it from him and walked towards lift. I was tired to even say thank you to him.
Inside lift, I checked the parcel. It was a plain yellowish box with no fanciness on it. The address slip said it was from someone Swati, in Delhi.

Swati? Delhi? I entered into my apartment trying to remember any but nothing rang a bell.

I left it on sofa and went for a shower. After shower, I took a glass of juice and made lied comfortably on the couch tearing off the thick from the parcel.

A letter fell into my lap as the front was tore and another wrapped box was in there. I held out the letter to read properly.

Dear Niyati,

How are you? I hope you are fine there. Can you recognize me? I can’t blame if you can’t as it is been long eighteen years since the last time we met. Eighteen years agone, we were in same class and sat on same bench. We shared our lunch and whispered secrets to each other. We were good friends then. Then my father transferred, we shifted to another town and eventually we lost contact. Now I guess you can remember me.

It’s strange to write someone all of sudden after so many years. May be I wouldn’t have written you now too. But there is something I had to tell you and I couldn’t bear the burden anymore. So listen and if possible please let your heart take the decision.

Eight years before my father got very ill and wanted me to marry before he leaves the world. I had no choice but marry the guy he chose for me. I didn’t know then but now I realize how lucky I am to have Abhay as my life partner. He took care of me when my father died six months later. He loved, cared and fulfilled every wish of mine like no one ever could have. Now I have a six year old son now. His name is Akhil. I must have done some good deed to have a family like this. I feel really blessed. Everything seemed perfect till two days back.

Two days back something happened that made me realize that I have done some wrong too and if I don’t atone for it then it will loom over my perfect happiness. That day after Akhil returned from school and went for afternoon nap, I went to his room to take out the snacks box from his bag. It’s one of his bad habits. He always forgets tiffin box here and there. As I opened the bag, I found a golden prize-cup kept in his bag. I knew about the Junior Spelling-Bee competition that was held a week back in his school. Akhil was very excited about it. He prepared really well and participated in it but unfortunately came third. One of his friends came first and another guy from his senior class came second. The whole day he was very upset and refused to eat anything.

I thought he was a kid and would forget after a day or two. He got back to normal as I had thought. But that day when I found the prize from his bag that wasn’t surely his, I confronted him. After when I and Abhay threatened him to beat he confessed of stealing it from his friend who had scored the highest in that competition. He said his friend brought the prize to class everyday and showed it to everyone. In anger I slapped him hard. It was the first time I ever laid hand on him that harshly. The whole night I kept crying silently. Abhay tried to console me but tears didn’t oblige. I couldn’t speak the truth I had confided inside me and forgotten for these long years. But as they say truth can never be ignored and it came in circle through my son to me.  

The same incident had happened twenty years ago. You remember about the solo song competition in school we both had participated in there. You came first and won everyone’s heart with your honeyed voice. You were the myna of our school and I was just a simple girl who was being ignored in shadow your talents. We were very good friends. But after you won the competition I started to feel jealousy for you and your popularity. I hated you being so happy over your success and the way your flaunted your prize to everyone. It was a small long statue like figure with a tiny bird on its head. You were happy and I was hurt seeing you happy. And one day, finally I stole it. Yes, it was me.

I remember how devastated you were over losing your beloved prize. You didn’t eat for two days. You didn’t speak to anyone. Till then I didn’t know you loved the prize so much. After seeing you hurt like that I wanted to return it to you. But my tiny heart wasn’t that brave. I was scared thinking what would you if you came to know I stole your prized possession. I didn’t tell anyone. A few days later we moved to another town and I brought it with me.

I kept it under my bed hidden in a box from everyone. Till my marriage it was there only and after that I forgot completely about it. But after this happened with Akhil, I realized that my sin is being fruit to my child which I can’t bear. So I had to confess it to you and ask your forgiveness.

I know, sorry is very little word for the amount of hurt you were due to me. Because of me, a little girl had cried day and night. And I can’t forgive myself unless you do. I am really very sorry, my friend. I was a child and impulsively did it but bigger blunder is that after realizing also I didn’t return it to you. So even bigger heartily sorry for it. It may seem little to you know but for me, it is a big burden and for this I am returning what was yours to you.

Love you despite everything or whatever your decision will be. I am sure you must have done very well with you life. You were a star. I hope and pray that you more success in your life and happiness may ushered into your life everyday.

Take care.

With Love,

Excitedly I opened the second box, tearing it wildly with superhuman speed. Inside it, an old statue was securely packed with soft cottony cushion. I touched its fading surface careful as if it were some new born baby, lingering my finger at every bend on it. Happiness tided into eyes and streamed down cheeks. My childhood memory, the beautiful days all came to greet me. It felt like I was holding some nobel prize in my hand. The joy was unexplainably high. I held it chest and whispered, 

I forgive you, my friend.”

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Friday, December 6, 2013

The questions

The Question
These days I get a lot of questions. People just wander around me and start asking random useless and total waste things. You finished your studies? Doing job? Not yet? What are you doing then? Enjoying life? Is that you say enjoy? DO you have any plans? For future? Which domain you wanna choose? Oh! Poor! Market is down crashed. You won’t get job. Don’t you want a job? Hurry up then. Run now.
Bloody Hell! Hold there. Hold your questions to yourself. If anyone wants to run right now, then it’s you, fool. Run before I kick your ass. And don’t you dare to ask me about when I am going to settle down or else I will just tear your old body into so many pieces that even the crows will fail to recognize you were a human.
Angry! Hell no. I am enjoying all these, kicked on my ass with your questions without my assent. Even international criminals and smugglers have that right but I am not. Now you time is over. The beast has returned from the deep slumber of injury. The nights of groaning are over. Over are the torments of being confined and suppressed.
The beast has risen befriended with monster. Yeah! ‘coz
I’m friends with the monster that’s under my bed,
Get along with the voice inside of my head.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Little Puppy With A Prayer

Source- Google Image

I am the little puppy with a prayer,
That’s what been told by my mother,
Though with time I feel more in danger,
Nonetheless I can try to be braver.

I walk to an iron body so tall,
 Touching the big sky of fall,
I ask him “Have you seen my mother?
I am the lost puppy with a prayer.”
The tower stands there still,
I feel he is a little bit ill.

I march slowly sniffing to another,
Wearing green dress like my mom’s master,
I ask “Have you seen my mother,
I am the lost puppy with a prayer.”
The pale face turns red and sneezes away,
I guess it’s just not my day.

There is some music that I like,
I run there with much delight,
I see something like my master’s daughter,
Before I ask “Have you seen my mother?
I’m the lost puppy with a prayer.”
It bends down, hauls me with big shoulders.

I see big teeth flashing inside pink paint,
Is this the monster mother was talking then?
Now I am too scared of monster so insane,
I shine my own teeth and sink it to the white skin,
Blood comes from there and a shriek rings in,
I fall on my butt and there it does pain.

Now I see large boots running towards,
 as big as me, my sisters and brothers,
More eyes turn toward me growing bigger,
I smile at them though they smell of anger,
Still I just ask, “Have you seen my mother?
I am the lost little puppy with a prayer.”

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Something for some lovely ones

I feel bad whenever I find how shameless I have grown on my place. Whenever I see that the good-manners have seeped out from me leaving me as an uncouth indecent chic, I can’t even look myself in eyes. Really, my embarrassment is no affectation. I really mean it and It is ripping my heart apart. And who do I have to cannon the blame this time?

My busy schedule? Oh! No. It will be a turgid lie.

Lack of enthusiasm? No. Not at all.

Health problems? Not that serious to be an issue (Just a minor food poisoning two days back due to having a coffee outside. Look at the delicate me! ).
Frustration of failures? It’s my fault that I can’t contain myself. It’s life. Okay! Be real!!

It’s purely the procrastination. You know what, I can be very useful in exhibition. They can put me under the label of “The moodiest Procrastinator of 21st century”. Yeah! That will be really entertaining. I can see you smiling at the screen right now.

I don’t know. But I know sorry is not enough neither is thank you.
Still I owe you all both of these.

A big SORRY and even bigger THANK YOU.

You still haven’t got it. Right! Yeah! Yeah! I am very mis-talented(for me it’s mis not un) too.

A few months back Mr. Ajay Kontham(It’s his blog here.) had forwarded me a cute award. But for his sweet gesture, I even couldn’t say him a mere thanks. I simply put it in my to-do-list into the piles of chores that I have barely cared to finish ever.

Secondly, A few days back beautiful owner of this majestic blog Me  again forwarded me a blog award. Though I thanked her on her blog post’s comment section, still she deserves more than that.

So guys sorry for holding you till now. I know you, rational and sensible people have better work than looking forward to my shity blog. Still this is for both you and all the readers who stumble into my blog and take pain to actually go through it and suffer more for commenting. I love you all! You stay in my heart. Each of you. I swear on the name of Pizza Hut. (Huh! If I forget any name, Pizza Hut guys will be in trouble which I really don’t intend to do.)

And and and…my dear friends I have something for you. Hope you all will like it.

A Cake..?

It's here:

I know it's bit late but I had made this card that I could upload on Diwali. 

Happy Diwali to all! :)

Sunday, November 10, 2013

38 Missed calls...what's going on!

Purvi checked the Platinum rimmed watched on her wrist, not with admiration but in despair. The meeting she was leading on would take at least another hour even if they have the least discussion. The phone in her blazer pocket trembled violently again, arresting her heartbeat for 38th time. It was call from home. Her mobile profile was set in such a way that, in silent profile only the calls from home will have vibration.
“38 missed calls in 10 minutes..?” She wondered what was going on! Her dark eyes went dilated with worry.
Another call and she knew she would run insanely from the meeting. It’s better to leave like a professional.
“Excuse me, gentlemen.” She composed herself into a tough, straight exterior. “I am sorry but I have to leave the meeting now.”
Every pair of eyes rose puzzled with her abrupt leaving decision.
“Are you sure, Miss Purvi? What about the meeting? I guess you know with how much difficulty your company got the meeting with us. And you value the importance of it.” The representative from Client Company told her in a cold and lethal tone that chilled the whole room’s temperature.
“I do understand.” She paused. But my son is far more important than this meeting or this company or the whole world, She wanted to tell. “Still I have to leave. My assistant will be here. He will carry on this meeting and I hope he will be as efficient as I would have been. All the designs are finalized and in your file. Any other query, I would get into touch with you later. As soon as possible, in fact.”
“But I think you know that we are leaving the town tomorrow morning.”
“Don’t worry, Mr. Shaw. I will get to you before you leave. But now, it’s the matter of someone’s life and I can’t wait anymore. Thank you. It was nice meeting till now and once again I am genuinely sorry for my sudden departure.”
She snapped the car keys and left the room.
As soon as Purvi was out, her blood rushed inside like larva from volcano.
She called back to home but no one picked it up. When she tried to her son mobile, the call was disconnected. She kept calling along with running to the parking lot and rushing into her car.
The wheels turned zestfully like war horses as she pulled the car in sixth gear, racing into the late afternoon lazy city road. In one hand she managed the car and in another, though she hated breaking traffic rules, she called her home again. It was risky but being a single mom was no less dramatic. When she took the decision of raising the baby alone, against the whole society, abandoning her real home, getting established in the new city and setting up a new business all was an unbelievably perilous.
It took half of the time it should have taken in general for her to reach home. She slammed the car door and sprinted into the house, straight into her son’s bedroom.
Her ten year old son was standing there, over a small table, wearing a white cloak.
“Hey, son.” She called out to him. “Are you okay?”
He turned to her. “Hey, Mom. Yeah! I am okay. You back early.” Then he checked the mickey mouse watch on his wrist. “Exactly 4 hours 32 minutes early.” He beamed at her showing the smile in which two teeth were missing.
“You called me. 38 missed calls. I was worried.” She walked to him and kneeled before him, hugging him tightly.
“Ah! Mom. You are chocking me.” He said, shaking himself free. “I called you because you have a fantastic caller tone and I was experimenting with it.”
“Caller tune? Experimenting?” She stared in those innocent eyes fathoming some better answer.
“Yeah. Look what I have made.” He took her with him to the tiny table. Her son was no less than a genius. His room was full of experiments equipments and apparatuses. After all winning junior level national science competition can’t be just like this. The small boy was blessed.
A setting was set up on the tiny table. There stood a demure wooden frame with numerous iron sticks connecting along its height in equal distance at feet. On each tall stick there was a small ball rested at the end. One side of the wooden frame was connected to a small box sized device and the device was again connected to a tiny mobile.
Purvi had given her son that mobile, in case he needed to call her anytime or she needed to reach her.
Her son went to the mobile and the mobile in Purvi’s pocket buzzed again. As the phone rang, the next moment the balls in the wooden frame danced like professional dancer on a stage, each ball rising and falling rhythmically along with the music.
She inched near to wooden frame and watched the wonder happening in agape till it stopped with the vibration in her phone.
“You see that?” Her son excitedly enquired.
“It’s beautiful. Very beautiful. But why my caller tune only? And wait….who set caller tune on my mobile? I didn’t have one.”
“I did it.” Her son said avoiding to look up from the invention.
“I liked the song. Today morning while you were in bathroom you left your phone in dinning hall and I took it. By the way your phone was getting slow. I cleaned up the garbage files, deleted the apps jamming os. Meanwhile there was a call from your mobile company that whether you want to have a caller tune. I said ok. Don’t you check your balance? They must have deducted thirty bucks.”
“No, son. But you should have told me. You know I was worried of your calls.”
“Oh mom! I am sorry.” His seraphic face dropped in grimace.
She couldn’t bear seeing him sad.
“Well! For this mistake you will be punished.” She narrowed her eyes on him.”And your punishment is” Her finger moved to sides of his body, tickling the sensitive nerves.
The empty house fell into the loud ten year old laughter while Purvi chased after him, tickling at different places.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Front door

Close the front door,
Walk with me to inside,
Hold my hand and walk this far,
Show me how you cook the love.

A secret hidden in your ribbed sheath,
Show it to me dear,
I will hush it down in my breath,
Fasten it with promises of your.

Soft and melting, shiny and deep down crispy,
How do you cook best love in the world,
Into tiny pieces with ends conic and heads curvy,
Dipping, kneading and foliating with sweet words.

Close the every way,
In that bowl painted mauve,
Everything you mix with such care,
Show me how you cook the love.

Image source- Google Image

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Puja Away Home

I sat at the window watching everything getting wet outside. All were getting excited in their home. Two days later there is Diwali. Everyone is jollying around, talking about how to celebrate this big functions, how many guests will arrive, how to prepare all the most delicious sweets in the world. Girls are worried about how they will look prettier than all in their new dresses. Children, for the rarest time, are waiting for rain to stop and sun to come. These days their attention from paper boat is diverted towards the fireworks. They are worried when sun will rise to verve and they will sun-dry the fireworks so it catches the fire with no delay. Elders are busy in preparing for puja. After all this is Lakhsmi Puja. They can’t miss this.
I miss home a lot these days. In our home, we all together used to celebrate with much grandeur, fun and merriment. This was an occasion which used to come balancing spirituality and enjoyment too. If I were married to someone my parents wanted, I would be enjoying it too. This is my first Diwali that I am not celebrating. I don’t know how to do it alone. I miss sitting in puja, praying for the whole family. After marrying Asad, we were both disowned from our respective family. They didn’t allow us our inter-religion marriage. But there was no way out then. I didn’t want to hurt anyone neither Asad did. But we couldn’t live without each other. I tried to make everyone understand at home that Asad is a very good boy. In fact I told them that they can put us into test. If they find anyone who can understand me better than Asad, love me better than Asad and respect them better than Asad, then I would do as they wish., But they rudely denied and protested with great agitation. Finally we had to leave home and marry alone.
I am very happy with Asad. Even if I pray at God for seven lives then also I can’t get anyone better. But we both miss our family very much. Everyday we pray that they accept us. The doorbell interrupted my line of thoughts. It must be Asad returning from office.
I opened the door and saw Asad was there with a big box wrapped in gift paper hiding his face.
“GIFT..” I shouted in happiness.
“Ssshhh..stop shouting. “ He smiled at me and took me inside but didn’t give me the gift.
“For me?” I asked him indicating the box.
“” He always take amuse in playing with me.
I made a face. “Then for whom?”
“ baby..don’t make a face. I quit. For you.”
“Heyyy..”I went to take the gift but he shifted from hand to hand in air.
“No. There is a condition. You have to guess what’s in there. Then only I will give it.”
“Okay..” I tried to start my thought engine. “Hmm..sari..?”
He nodded.
I slowly tapped a finger on lip guessing about what he could give me while he lied on the couch.
“Come one Asad. Stop playing with me now.” I said and with a sudden lurch, took that box away and ran from there.
I heard Asad shouting from behind. “That’s not fair Amita. That’s cheating you know.”
I settled myself on the dining table and opened the box.
As the box was duly disrobed, I found a shining box which read “SAMPOORNA LAKSHMI POOJA PACK”.
Asad wheeled next to me untying his tie. I turned to him with a quiz in my eyes.
“Open it.” He said.
I opened it. There was a plastic case and in that there were all the puja items like were beautifully aligned. “Wow.” There unwrapped them one by one. There were thirty four items in total, all labeled starting from haldi, kumkum to two idols of Lord Ganesh and Godess Lakshmi.
“I overheard some colleague in office about it. They were talking about Diwali. I knew how much you missed it. So I thought it would be great if we could do the puja here. This is all in one pack with all the manuals and guidelines to perform the puja yourself.”
I turned around and gave him a big breath-choking hug. He kissed top of my head. He knew it well that I missed home for puja and no priest would agree to come to our house. They think by stepping into our house, their religious good deed will transfer into sin. How silly they are! And how thoughtful my love is!
After two days, on the eve of Diwali I opened the pack again and read the guidelines carefully. I cleaned the place of puja at first and placed the both idols of Lakshmi and Ganeshji as Lakshmi puja is incomplete without worshipping Vighna Vinashaka Lord Ganesh. I lit two deepams and the cup of sambrani, provided in the pack only. Then I decorated the place as instructed in the pack while Asad helped me in putting the rangoli. He was very good at it, filling colors around it with excitement.
Asad tied the kankana around my right wrist. We sat together directing our attention towards the divinity. We took askshat with little water and put it down and chanted as instructed.
Mama Alakshmi Nivarana Dwara Aayur Aarogya, Aishwaryabhi Vridhyartham

Shree Mahalakshmi Poojaaradhanam Karishye
Then we prayed to Lord Ganesh to make the puja obstacle free.
Aadau Nirvighnata Sidhyartham, Ganapathy Poojam Karishye.
We chanted it along with Ganesh mantra. And later followed by as the audio cd told us. Though it was hard for Asad to pronounce the Sanskrit words, but he kept with me. And as the illustration was in English, it made us easier to understand everything clearly.
To be true it was the best puja of my life. Now I could see how much the priests were cheating us hurrying in the puja. We both prayed for the same thing that we get accepted by both of our parents as our life meant nothing without them. Our puja was completed hassle-free with blessing of Godess Lakshmi and God Ganesh.
Later that evening we took Prasad, ate together and spent the night watching the firerworks outside. I had the best Diwali of my life with my love.

 PS: This is a fictional story. The post here is for entry for the contest in Cycle Pure Agarbathis. Here is the link to the contest 

Saturday, October 26, 2013


(It's a prompt for Author Preeti Shenoy's blog prompt for her new book, THE ONE YOU CANNOT HAVE. So read and enjoy!!! )

He extended a hand towards me into the car and as I as placed my hand in his, in a swift movement I was in his arms. Our date wasn’t even started properly and I was already floating in air, literally. The expectation and awe was frenzying me like viral fever. It was my first date with Edward. It was first date of my whole life. I don’t date once I had told him and since then he was after me for a date till it became a bet in a challenge. Obviously he won and undoubtedly I lost it. To be honest by the end he made me so desperate to go out with him that I wanted him to win it.

He lowered down his smugly face towards me and the smell of his cologne caught me on off guard. I forgot to breath and continued to stare at him in rapture till he mouthed with a crooked smile, “Breath.”

Blood flooded to my face in shy and I looked down while he kept smiling that unearthly smile on. Cradling in his arms like a baby as he drifted into the sandy beach effortlessly and all I could think was what perfume he wore that kept me in-and-out-of-fainting all the time.

He lowered me down to the ground carefully so that I don’t stumble on the silky bed of sand. He knew my weaknesses better than me and my habits of toppling everywhere. Since childhood I have this balance problem. I should have two more legs to stabilize myself.

Before us there was a small table with two chairs on opposite sides. The table was adorned with all types food served in closed plates. I looked around and found none to a great relief. We were alone in that wide beach under an endless starry night. He held the chair behind me as I took seat and he fleeted to his place holding my hand all the time.

I looked at the food and reached out for it when he held my other hand abruptly chilling my whole body. I gave him a look which clearly conveyed the question what now?

He nodded refusing. “Wait a minute.” And then he nodded in other direction.  Beautiful music seeped into air. I stressed a bit on the tune. I knew it. It was Flightless Bird, American Mouth which was his favourite song at first but later it became dear to my heart too. He whispered the lyrics while his cold lips glided along my knuckles which were getting rosy with his kiss. I gasped more as air as emotions chocked inside me.

Though we ate one handed as he refused to leave me hand, I had the most scrumptious food of my life. I couldn’t bear but lick my finger at the end, with closed eyes savoring the taste. And when I opened my eyes, he was amusedly watching me. I sighed again in need of some more control around him.
He smiled assuredly. “Do you know why I am in love with you?”

“No.” I curtailed my reply. I really didn’t know. He was the best man ever created by the creator. No one can even match the one hundredth of him. Still he chose me. I was worse than average.

“Because you are what you are. No show off guarding, no affectation, no hiding. Small, weak, wobbling still refusing to wear any mask to hide her weakness. And interestingly Refusing to bow down on her place. Do you know how lucky I am to find you before anyone else? Do you know how long I have waited for you?” He looked into my eyes with a sly cognizance before producing a small box before.

A ring glinted in it as he opened the box. It caught my breath in middle. Is he…Oh! No! Oh! Yess..

“OH! NOoo!” I gasped in the cold air. He raised a brow in my direction. “OHHH..Yessss..” I fumbled.

He smiled with apprehension and asked, “Will you stay with me for the rest of my life and keep my heart beating with your love?”

I couldn’t answer then. Just looked at him. “Breathe” He commanded as the ring slid slowly to its perfect place in my hand. He kissed the ring on my finger at first and then proceeded to kiss me.

A sharp noise replaced the soothing music from behind. I looked around in panic. They grew so loud that my hand fled to the sides of my head protecting my ear from bursting. I closed my eyes tightly and swept my hand in air till it found a hard floor. I slapped at it hard and the noise ended with it.

I slowly opened my eyes and found myself in my room on my bed. I fell into bed again, muffling my face to the pillow. “It was a dream.” I murmured to myself. “A stupid dream.”

I looked at the poster of Edward on my cupboard. “But it was a very surreal, beautiful dream of dream date.” I flung out of bed as it was time to get ready for college.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

A grateful smile

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

I have read this a lot of times in our lives. Sometimes on the banner of school gate, sometimes on the boundary wall of church or sometimes in the elementary school student’s essay your best friend. It can make into the most used quotes also. But being most used in real life, I didn’t have any such striking experience in my life till now owing my hesitation to ask anyone for anything. It takes a big part of courage from me. I am always in the thought that what if he or she denies and I will be returned ashamed and with hurting creases in my heart for that person. I have been turned down many times in my life. Whenever I went to ask for some help in the desperation, I was turned down. So I always prefer to get it by myself.

A few days back I was in dire need of something which I couldn’t get or earn by myself. It has to be done by others. I needed prayers then. My whole hometown was in danger. Phailin, a super-hurricane was hauling with so monstrous force which threatened to destroy everything we held there. Everyone was scared. Every hand held up in prayer through out the night praying almighty to save them and their family.
I was helpless. The worst was I couldn’t be near my family. That was the day I most regretted for my decision to leave them back for my career. I felt a serious guilt of selfish pang through me. I couldn’t stop hurting myself. Then I wrote a post in my blog, asking everyone who read my blog to kindly pray for my hometown. This is all I could do at that time.

I didn’t even check it for two days. All I was doing then was pace through the hostel corridor and try to talk to everyone I knew at my hometown. And when I logged into my blog and checked it, it almost startled me. I am not so popular in the blog arena. I have just very few followers and I don’t know even all of them read it or not. It’s the truth even if it hurts. But this time I had many people who prayed for me selflessly.
I lost my balance as my feet was one feet high in air, I was so happy then. And the best part was their prayers were heard too. Though the force of Phailin destroyed a lot but it was less then what was estimated. As seven lakhs of people were evacuated prior to the cyclone (for the first time I saw government so active!! :O), there was no such loss of life. Though all the vegetation is smashed and no tree has a single leaf on it, still it was better and that’s what all were relaxed and happy.

Now I don’t know how to thank each every people who prayed for it as everyone matters a lot to me. I even don’t know how many lips read the prayer. But whoever prayed for us and whoever even thought to pray but forgot due to their busy schedule, I am thankful and grateful to all of them. I have no words to pay my gratitude. So this is something I made for them. I hope all of you will like it. J

I know it's not that good but I promise to come up with a better one! :)

Saturday, October 12, 2013

A Small Prayer

(For the first time in life I have come with a person front in the public platform. So please be with me.)
Today I am here with some bit of taunting truth and a request for prayer. NO entertaining, no enlightening speeches this time as I am helpless now. The moment the thought crosses my mind that it might be the last day of your native place, that moment every bit of wise word disappears living a abyss full of despair, dismay and loneliness and a fair so muscular that I am feeble before it.
My place, my native place. When I speak of these words, I always feel contentment inside me and a relaxation too. As if my mom came and stroked me with all her love and tenderness. But now whenever I speak of it, it feels me with a fear that j
ust after a few hours and it will be devastated to crumbles.

My native, Silk city (we affectionately call it as silk city!) is a small coastal town on the south east Odisha, adjacent to the border of Andhra Pradesh. It is a very pretty town with a nice tropical climate. Though overpopulated and most of the roads in the towns are still pretty damaged where as city election comes and goes with new majors replaced every five years, it is still a paradise. A coastal area, large spread seashore, one of the best medical facilities providing Medical College, University, numerous other college graduating students in hundreds each year, central railways station, business hub for Patto(silk) Sarees- what else do one need?

12th October 2013. It is forecasted that the cyclone with devil name, Phailin is supposed to hit the shore of east of India from Bay of Bengal on today evening in between 5 to 6 o’ clock. The cyclone is assorted as Super Cyclone category. It supposed to hit the shore of Gopalpur first and then move into the inside of Orissa leaving everything devasted behind it. Around 3 lakhs of people evacuated from their place. Right at the moment, the hurricane is just 150 kilometers away from my place and it’s supposed to hit my town within an hour.

Last time it was faced with a less terrible cyclone in 1999 which had left it ruined in many places. Countless people were lost into water and innumerable houses were wiped out. People suffered from hunger and diseases for months afterwards. Now the hurricane is double the powerful of last one and I have no idea what will happen afterwards. The flame flower tree of around 10 years is now left with its trunk only. I don’t how many more green-friends I am going to lose into this hurricane. I don’t how to face next time I go there. What would it look like?? No tree, crumbled buildings, broken roofs- why? Why? Why? My heart screams in terror.

So it’s just my final endeavor from my loving place. I have heard somewhere that someone else prays for you, then it’s regarded with great consideration. So it’s an urgent request to everyone, whoever is reading it, please pray with me.

Oh Dear Almighty, We are helpless now. We can’t do anything. We can just pray to you that please be kind with them. Please be all the people who are facing this dance of death before them. Please give them strength, give them patience and give them courage to go through all this and also let the ordeal pass through without hurting anyone, be it humans or animal. Please help these poor souls. They have no one except you. Please bless them with your love and generosity. Please. Here we pray heartily let them come out of it with a smile and courage to stand again.

Thanks to you for being with me through out the prayer. I hope our prayer will be answered positively. I hope it will be over soon and tomorrow morning will be a new start. And at last I will pray again that, Dear Supreme Creator, please be with my town and if in return you need put my life at risk as I love chaos in city more than I love my own heartbeat.