Monday, January 28, 2013
Saturday, January 26, 2013
With time, college got more interesting. There was more freedom, anxiousness, craze and less restriction; at least no more ponytails with red ribbon or kilos of books humped at back. It was more like a rush heading in an unknown direction. No worries, no care of where and when the end will come. Everywhere just trendy clothes, alien haircuts, raunchy comments and lots of color are to be found; I was enjoying every bit of it.
Though I hated the time seniors spent pulling our legs. They called it ‘chastity time’ meant to filterate audacity from childishness. I was victim of their prank twice but at the third time I was almost on tears and they spared me on mercy grounds. Arnav was smarter and sharper than their questions and tackled it with accolades. Even while playing prank, he looked no less attractive.
Some unwanted shits happened during those days. The class was divided into sections and he was on another section. The teachers said they did it randomly. If it was stochastic, then why on earth I didn’t get into his section. But something good was there in return too.
Our college provided buses for transport. It would carry us to college everyday. Arnav opted for the bus transportation. He said its better to travel with friends together rather than going alone. But the bonus point is that he would come to the same bus-stop as me. I was really happy. It was like I would get to see him more everyday till we separate at college.
The first official function of our college life was ‘Freshers Party’ thrown by seniors for us. They said it is the end of two month long ragging session and the function forges a friendship of us with the college. But it looked more like let’s-officially-torture-juniors program. They boys had to wear orange formals and girls had to wear sari. It was harder than cracking entrance exam.
Besides all these there was another beautiful phase called ‘friendship’. These days Preeti and I got closer. And except Preeti I made another friend, Vidya. She is a sweet homely girl. I can’t exactly put my finger on the thing about her for which I liked her instantly. May be her simplicity caught me. From duo we turned into trio.
In this phase of life I learned many new things too like how to behave with seniors, how to match with professor’s speed in class, how to handle comments, how to ignore the wolfish eyes of boys, to shake off worries and enjoy every day that is presented before you. The part of all of these was Arnav.
And another thing that played a vital role in college days was the social networking site. I was addicted to it or may be addicted to the services it provided. To be precise, I was addicted to talking to Arnav. It was my sleeping-pill. A day without talking to him was way lot worse than a day on saline drip. In evening just after college, I would log in to the sites. My profile was a lot improved then and had one hundred and fifty two people in friend’s list. Though eighty percent them were unknown to me. My only focus was around Arnav always as I had no other way to stay in touch with him.
The night before ‘Freshers Party’ I was expectedly on facebook.
Four chat boxes opened in a row.
Ramesh: Hi ava
Vaibhav: hey sexy.
Dibya: Hi avanjali. r u online?
I cancelled Ramesh’s and Vaibhav’s chat boxes and preferred Dibya only. I had talked with that guy twice before and he sounded kind of decent. And Arnav was offline that time. I had to anyhow wait for him. So I preferred to kill some time with Dibya.
Dibya: hey. hw r u?
Me: I’m fyn. hw r u?
Dibya: vry fyn. n y dnt u answr to any my ping? i pinged u several times bt there was no reply.
Me: nthng. jst lyk dat. so wht r u dng?
Dibya: nthng. jst chattn. n u?
Me: same here.
The small dot before Arnav’s link burned bright green. Finally he is online.
Me: Whr hv u been?
Me: Hi. whr wer u till nw?
I was fully irritated by then waiting for him.
Dibya: r u der?
Me: yeah dibya. listen i hv to go. mom is callin. ok . i l talk wid u ltr. bye. it’s nice talking wid u. J
Arnav: yeah. just went for shopping.
Me: wht did u shop?
Dibya: ok. Bye. same here. Whn l u be onlyn again?
I totally ignored Dibya. I was so frenzied at that time that if Arnav had appeared before me, I would have jumped at him. I was missing him badly.
Arnav: some clothes for tmrw?
Me: oh! fr tmrw. nice. so went fr shoppn. alone or wid someone?
Arnav: kishore was with me. We bought some clothes.
Damn! I forgot to tell you all that Kishore and Arnav had become very good friends in between. Luckily they got to same section. All the time in college, you will find them together. They shared almost everything with eachother, just like I, Preeti and now Vidya.
Me: so wht did u shop?I mean jst clothes or anything els?
Arnav: sm clothes and a deo fr me. kishore got a pair of shoes for him too. u knw it ws hard to get a formal on orange. i moved through d whole market n finally got it in a roadside. cool..na. J
Me: ya. new experiences.
Arnav: yes. i jst luv it.n wht r u wearn fr tmrw?
Me: do we hv any choices left to us?obviously sari.
Arnav: grt. hv u evr wore it bfr?
Me: nope L
Arnav: den it’s gud to try once.
Me: nthn lyk dat...i m vry tensed for it. it feels lyk i appearing for the boards’ exam again.
Arnav: y dear? wht hpnd?
Me: nthn. jst scared. hvnt evr wore it. sm gals wer sayin it’s too difficult to handle wid sari. wht if...
Arnav: wht if u fall bfr all? dnt wrry dear. at frst jst stp vexin urself for uncertaintes in future. u l b fyn.
Me: nt so sure. Wht if some malfunction happens.
I had seen in some movies about malfunctions. I scared me to hell. I was tentative about going to function. But again attending function was compulsory. Seniors had already warned us. No matter what happens, we had to get there anyhow.
Arnav: luk. I’v a plan. if u r so tensed, den y dnt u try it nw at home. hv a rehearsal before hand.
Actually he was right. Form where does he get these ideas? Is he some kind of genie? Or some hideous creature possessing supernatural power in him? Wow! I was literally dreaming of flying in sky with him. Stupid me!
Arnav: ok. nw go. Dnt waste mch tym here. Practice sm walk in sari. u l b comfortable ltr n stp torturing urslf wid those negative thoughts.
Me: thnk u.gng fr ur idea. hope it ll wrk.
Me:bye. gudnyt. swtdrms.
I logged off and ran downstairs, dragged mom from kitchen and made her to teach me wearing sari. It was difficult and unmanageable at first. We practiced together for two long hours till my knees started to weep from knocking here and there again and again. Finally I was somehow steady and bit of confidence started to take place of anxiety. I couldn’t thank more to Arnav. Gradually he was turning everything for me. I couldn’t think beyond him as if I and he were together for ages.
Friday, January 25, 2013
It was first time ever I was coupled with a boy. I knew hormones ranging high at this age, but this way I never thought it to be. I lied to Preeti but didn’t know how to lie to myself. I just wanted to know whether all that I felt right then was love or just infatuation.
I quickly finished the dinner and went to bed. The whole day was hasty, so very soon I was asleep.
Next day we were at college. We all student sat in one big hall as section division was still on process. Preeti hopped on the first bench of the class leaving a place on her right for me. I looked around and found Arnav three seats behind ours on boys’ side. He was talking with another guy.
He wore a demure brown shirt with something nonsensical written in black. The shirt suited him very well. Even the models would have failed look better than him. The class was disturbed but I found order in chaos just with a glimpse of him.
“Damn it!” I murmured and took the seat.
Ms.Chandra entered the hall storming the whole way. Her specs sat on the peak of her nose and hairs bundled in a bun. She was really fair and beautiful.
“Good morning class” She greeted us in a sonorous voice. “As you are new to college, all of you will sit in one classroom for a few days. After that you will be divided into two sections. So for now we have arranged an temporary attendance. I will be calling out your name and roll-number. All of you remember it well. Got me students! ”
She started calling out names. At first there were girls name serially. I was curiously waiting for Arnav’s name. Preeti would get my roll number if I miss it, but she wouldn’t get Arnav’s.
I felt someone’s elbow prodding at me.
It was Preeti elbowing and before me, Ms.Chandra was shouting my name badly.
“Yes maam..”I bolted up horrified sliding the bag out the table. The bag fell on ground loudly providing acoustic to my drama before whole class.
“ Avanjali. Roll number twelve.” Her protruded eyes looked at me in contempt.
I heard some giggles from behind. Preeti looked back and they silenced.
Preeti’s roll-number was thirteen and Arnav’s was sixty eight.
That night I again logged on to Facebook and Arnav was online. I frolicked for a while. But it didn’t seem helping much as I paranoid to step forth. Should I ping him at first? What if he takes it otherwise?
The blue framed chat box on screen popped up startling me.
Arnav:Hi Wass up!
It was like gold on silver spoon for me. I instantly typed.
Arnav: Hw r u?
Me: I’m fine. Thank you. How are you?
Arnav:me fyn bt y r u talkn so formal? It sounds weird.
I bit my lips. How else on earth should I talk with him?
Me: Hm. Sorry.
Arnav: hey, I didn’t mean anythn wrng. if u r comfrtable lyk dis, den u talk dis way. n dnt b sry. chill.
Me: Thank you J
Arnav: Totally my pleasure, Madam. Hey, today u wer sitting in d frst row, am I right?
Arnav: n u wer wearin a pink dress today.
I was on cloud nine. He noticed me, I got every whim of mine fulfilled at that time.
Me: yeah. That’s me.
Arnav: actually i didn’t knw. dn i askd kishore abt u. he pointed towards u.
I was heart-broken. The flies of excitement inside heart died.
Arnav: u knw kishore ryt?
Me: no. Who is he?
Arnav: u dnt knw kishore..he is a genius guy. I mean he is superb in maths. There no match to the speed he solves riddles and problems.
Me: oh! Sorry. I don’t know him.
Arnav: it’s k.hw many new frnds u made at clg?
Me: none till now.
Arnav: y?u dnt lyk makn frnds?
Me: not much.
Arnav: ohh. i luv makn frnds. ok. nw i gotta go. mom z calln fr dinner. c u tmrw. bye. tk cr
Me: bye. Take care. goodnight.
Arnav has logged out.
He loves making friends. I recited it to myself. And what else does he love to do? The best answer to my curiosity laid in the social networking profile. I clicked into his profile. I was well furnished and magnificently decorated with spunky template. It looked as he maintained the profile everyday. From there I got all the handy and general information like he loves bikes a lot, has guts for adventure, a penchant for Starwars and a die-hard fan of Harry-potter series.
With heaven’s sake, harry potter has always sucked for me. It is weirder than the girl having miles of hair layering or the existence of girl whiter than snows. The worst part of the series is their names. Couldn’t they get bit easier and pronounceable names?
I also wandered a bit through his picture. Some of them had him posed on his black, hulky bike, some were taken in group and in few he posed alone. It felt nice at my nerves getting introduced more to him. He felt closer with every piece of truth I learned about him. It was like a bond was forming between us and the bond getting tighter. I wanted it to be more engulfing to take me in forever. I wanted it to last till eternity. I wanted to float in his dreams and not out of it ever.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
I am standing in the long, narrow, crowded corridor of junior science wing, K.V.R College. And before my eyes, I’m forced to witness what I never dreamt even in my worst nights. How could I ever dream it when in every dream of mine, He is the hero dancing with me under spotlight.
Arnav is the most handsome, dashing, cool, intelligent, charming, sharp and enticing guy of junior years. It’s not me but the girls’ eyes hunting him say so. Some envious girls say that he looks bit odd from his left and is bit bony. But I know they just can’t bear his perfectness. Even girls from senior years are swiped with his wizard look and crooked smile. From first day itself, college air carried his rumours. Girls hungrily started following him in Twitter and befriending in Facebook. Many girls tried to trap him but he cunningly avoided them all. They foolishly cried fake tears and exacted their love for him to be true. But I know that nobody can ever love him more intensely and purely more than me. I loved him with all the innocence and madness of the whole phenomena. He was the only one I loved without any reason and breaking all the rules.
The only thing that retained even my unconsciousness was he. But he was unknown from all these exuberance on my side. As they say, loving him matters more than having him. And may be that’s why he is nonchalantly proceeding in my direction with that fake-queen Manishaa in his arms and I’m watching them laughing together on some funny secret joke. May be it’s me they are laughing at for being such a stupid.
“She is a bitch!” Preeti angrily commented.
“Still she has him.”
Preeti nudged me from sides.
“Remember to behave, Ava. At least try to look normal, not like you are the recent victim of some harassment.”
I looked at her piteously. Preeti is my childhood friend and my best buddy. We do everything shared and together except the hours we spend at bed. Back in school we were named as twin-friends. The best thing is that she understands my unspoken words. I never have to explain anything to her. We have such a harmonious bonding.
“I was better in home, Preeti. Why did you drag me here?” I was almost on tears.
“No ! You have to face the situation. You can’t always run away like this. Whatever it is, it is the reality and you have to accept it.” She stomped her foot hard on ground. She was angry with the situation and blamed Arnav for all my miseries.
Emotionally she has always been the stronger one and that’s her forte. I love this trait in her the best.
She marched into the classroom and I plodded behind her. We chose the last bench instead the first one. Everyday I sat either parallel to the seat of Arnav or one bench after his so that nobody will ever catch me stealing glances at him. But I was not in mood for any love affair. In fact I hate the word L-O-V-E.
It was not same always. Six months back the scenario was something drastically different. Six months back when we joined the college, I knew Preeti only. The beginning was filled with excitement and enthusiasm. I was feeling butterflies fluttering in stomach when I first stepped into the college building.
After all suffering the same school for long suffocated fourteen years, it was the first time we independently did something on our own. It was frenzied at the same time felt edgy too.
Lots of unknown faces all around, lots of curious eyes questioning trickily, different people swept off from different background and stacked together. I was thrilled to face them all. And among them was Arnav. He was standing at a corner in a gang, but distantly playing with his mobile. A narrow shaft of light was bent swiftly at his face drawing a shadow on floor. He was glowing in the morning blaze of sun; innocent like some fallen angel. It was the charm or something else that bewitched me, I still doubt on it.
I was always covert and introvert one. Expectantly I couldn’t make more than a few short and unimpressive chats with some girls, let alone friends. Preeti is bit bolder and dynamic than me. She made some friends and even some boys also conversed with her.
That night I opened my facebook site to update the newly added info and turnover going on in my life. My account was just four months old and I had only thirty-two friends. I updated the college name and changed the profile picture too.
Instant update: 1 friend request received.
I clicked on the link and what I saw was beyond I could believe. I called Preeti immediately.
“ See this..” I foolishly spoke to her and bit my tongue over my stupidity. How could she see my laptop over phone?
“Wait. ” I accepted the friend request and a small picture in cute square box with 'Arnav' written below queued up in the Friend’s list on left side of my screen.
“ Who is he?” Preeti asked. She was online that time.
“ You know him.”
“No. But I saw him in college today.”
“Oh. It seems I missed him.”
“By the way he sent the friends request to me. I didn’t.”
A chat box popped up from the foot of screen.
Arnav: thnk u for accepting d requst
Me: You are welcome.
Arnav: so are you from K.V.R college?
Arnav: me too J
Me: I know.
I knocked at my head hard for being silly. What will he think about me? Stupid, idiot, moron.
Arnav: Oh..you knw me dn bt I dnt knw u
I didn’t know what to say next to it. I wasn’t still out of the guilt of silliness.
Arnav: so gng clg tmrw?
Arnav: c ya dn. Bye. Gudnyt
Arnav has logged off.
My mobile rang again and displayed ‘Preeti’ on screen.
“oops...I’m dead.” I told to myself.
“Yes Preeti” I silently spoke on the speaker.
“Where did you fly away? I was waiting for you but you didn't come. What is this?”
“Nothing Preeti. Just mom called over some urgency. So had to run...sorry.” I lied to her and waited to see how much convincing it was.
“It’s okay. Listen don’t forget to bring chart paper tomorrow unless you want to be hung by that Ms. Chandra”
“Ohh..I almost forgot it. Thank you darling. I’ll keep it in bag right now only. Don’t want to be offended before everyone.” At least before Arnav it would be really mortifying and inglorious. What would be his impression on me?
“By the way have you talked with that guy?”
“No. Just chatted a bit on facebook.”
“Oohhoo..wow...chatting with some random boy...you are advancing a lot sweetie.”
“Absolutely wrong. First, he is not random, he is from our college. And second, I didn't advance, he sent the request, he pinged for chat at first and we chatted only for eight minutes worth twelve lines long.”
“Yeah. I can see that smile across your face. There is something cooking. I can smell it.”
“Stop it, you silly girl..see you tomorrow at the college. Go and sleep now. Goodnight. ”
“Okay. Goodnight. Sweet dreams..of a” I cut the call in middle.
It was first time ever I was coupled with a boy. I knew hormones ranging at this age, but this way I never thought it to be. I precisely lied to Preeti but didn't know how to lie to myself. I just wanted to know whether all that I felt right then was love or just infatuation.
THE LINK TO OTHER INSTALLMENTS OF THIS STORY:
TWO STARS AND A MOON-2 :