Friday, October 4, 2013

A desire, so long awaited!

He asked me, “I am going out for Dev’s party. You wanna join me?”
I thought over it for a while, whisking the egg into the mix of flour, butter, sugar, chocolate, baking soda while speaking on the phone pressed between my ear and shoulder. I took a small dip on a finger out of the bowl cuddled between my lap and put it into my mouth and winced when it didn’t feel perfect. Exhaustively I pounded it on the kitchen pavement.
“Nah! You go and enjoy.” I said to him.
“Okay.” The line was interrupted then.

I didn’t feel like doing any more experiment with the dough. I silently poured it into the microwave container and put it in at required temperature and time setting.

I was alone with all my thoughts now. They were like roaming around me, playing ring-a-ring-o’-roses with my long desires. I could practically see them over my head, their tiny feet sometimes kicking on my head while they moved in a circled. Their laughter felt cruel to me. I tightly put my arms around my ear and leaned over the chair. I desperately needed someone then. A someone like friend.

A friend is one I have always wanted for. It’s like that distant moon. I usually find it all around me but I can never reach to it unless I am dreaming. A shoulder to slap and say “hiya” and also on the same shoulder to rest your head and cry when something goes wrong. An ear to whisper the rumor and at the same place to leave your deep secret with a relaxation. Someone to whom you can say anything without having to soak, strain and fry your thoughts till they are drained in fear of some horrible and unmanageable consequences. Unmanageable isn’t something that you will ever stumble over in friendship. A single sorry is enough after relentless hours and hours of fighting is manageable. Writing your assignment when you are busy in continuous sneezing in your bed is manageable. Proxy attendance and bunking important classes are manageable. Licking chocolate from the wrapper till it tastes like tin is also fine. Wearing torn jeans and rapped  T’s is cool. Talking before brush and hugging before bath is pleasure. Everything is so smooth and fine that even life gets jealous with that comfort.

He is good and smart. Modern and trendy. Nice and well-behaved. Whenever I look at him I can imagine all those things with me. I can bet anything in the world to befriend him. Anything, just name it. It’s no teenage craze or despair of lonely thirties because I am still in my fresh twenties. I want him as my friend. And among all the reason of my despair the prominent one is that he is my life-partner.

I have been sleeping with him from last six months. I cook for him. I share my breakfast and dinner with him. I ask him what to wear or not. I tell him whenever I need to visit my parents and he also drops me there with utmost care and respect. My parents also love him a lot. After all he is the nicest of all. I can say it with much pride and confidence. I get jealous hearing about any girls from him and he also feels the same for which we barely talk about our college days. I have everything on my side, as a wife should have. We share our body, mind and the sacred bond integrally. But when it comes to the fun, the spunk, the energy, the careless moments, the wide freedom, the forbidden jokes, the unbelievable rumors, the unavoidable chatting, the gut-drenching adventures, the thundering shrieks and endless fighting- I miss them all. I need a friend with whom I will sit under tree, baking my aged wrinkles under sun, watching our grandchildren playing together and gossiping our partner’s irritating midnight snores and farts. I need this kind of a friend.


I need a life-long friend. 



This is blog prompt for Author Preeti Shenoy's next book... TOUCH (The One YoU Cannot Have)Thursdays



23 comments:

  1. hey namrata,

    like you even im married few months back and what you have written are the words which i too feel. Even i have everything by my side.. the Wife side, but when it comes to fun, the wide freedom, the energy i feel left alone. Alone in my world where i feel lost and unwanted by anyone including him (my partner).
    nice written and its what i feel too.

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    1. I can understand your feelings well...but sorry to say Jyosna...I am still single..it was a fiction with little bit of truth..or I shall say that the last line was a sheer truth..:)

      Thank you for your warm visit..welcome :)

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  2. I had that friend... I miss that friend... I feel so lost without him.... :'(

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    1. I wish you guys get together again..:)

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  3. Its complicated. Rarely do you get a partner who is also your best friend in the way best friends are. I wish you do.

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    1. It's not only complicated, it's too too complicated actually and inclines much more towards the impossibility. If you are very lucky, you know kind of the of the people who get bumper prizes on the first time lottery, then you may find a person who will be both your partner and best friend. Thank you for your wishes. I really hope they get true. *fingers crossed*

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    2. Coming to think of it... I never married my best friend. Though in many senses, this friend is also entitled in her own way, to be considered a life partner. You just have to be a little more liberal with the term. All those who make your life feel like a wonderful gift are life partners :)

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    3. Lucky then..and you are right about letting other liberal...:)

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  4. Lovely piece of writing, Namrata! :) Hope you find that life-long friend asap :)

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    1. Thanks a Lot! :)
      Welcome to my blog :)

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  5. Your reply to Rajesh's observation enhances the beauty of the story!

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    1. Ohh!!! how can anyone be so lovely on earth! Do you know you are! Thank you..:)

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  6. This was a very intense read. Well, I fell lucky then, to have a coolest friend as my husband. We laugh like crazy, we start dancing out of the blue, in kitchen, living room or even bathroom, we make fart jokes, we make fun of people when we are out, we crack practical jokes, sometimes we just lie on the couch having movie marathons, I hang on his shoulders and he crushes me with his arm etc.
    I don't think it's complicated, it is just hard to find such partner.
    I am happy it was a fiction. I hope you get something opposite to that fiction, in reality. :)

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    1. Too many grammatical errors. yikes!

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    2. Then you are so lucky...thank you for your wishes..I also wish so..and about your grammatical mistakes I guess it just beautifies your words...:)

      Welcome to my blog! :)

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  7. This was an excellent fiction, Namrata! (Y)
    I simply loved your words and the way you weaved the story.

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  8. Nicely written.
    Though you mentioned this to be a fiction, it slightly felt like a part of your experience or more like a dream you wish to have.

    I have never thought past the present moment into the future or what would I be doing after I hit the bottom 60 and who would I be with. But you seem to have all figured out. That's actually cool.

    I hope you find that life long friend and share every beautiful thing you mentioned in this post.

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    1. Thank you.
      Yeah! It's just purely fiction..just what I have observed in others life..it can be a part such as I miss having a very very close friend just like that..but I am happy with what I have.

      And joblessness has given me this opportunity of dreaming..so I owe it to my ample amount of dreaming day and night!

      Thanks again! :)

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    2. Ah, the observer. The dreamer. Great. :)

      Well, in due time you will find that friend. I could have offered myself as that friend , bit I don't know whether I could keep up with the expectations. :/

      Oh, joblessness ? What are you upto these days actually?

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  9. Wonderful lines. A thin line between a forever friend and responsible husband... I read same lines twice, will read again later.. :-)

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